Every day I encounter another smart, talented woman who second-guesses herself; doesn’t always ask for what she wants for fear of rejection or judgement; busies herself checking off tasks from her never-ending to-do list during the week, only to be so exhausted by the time the weekend comes that the only thing she wants to do is rest, even as she feels GUILTY for “wasting time” on self-care.
What all these women have in common is that each one has a secret dream that she never acts on.
Maybe she dreams of travel, learning something new, starting a business, getting that promotion or in the C-suite. She is fascinated by stories of other people’s success (the podcast How I Built This is a constant source of inspiration) only to tell herself “I could never do that.”
If this sounds familiar, I have a story for you.
By all appearances, I was a confident, driven, successful career woman disrupter! emerging female exec! confident!
And yet, if you were inside my head, you would have heard a very different story. I felt like my voice, seemingly full of conviction, was full of doubt and insecurity.
Although I would never say it, I felt like a highly functioning fraud.
Internally, I was constantly comparing myself to others, second guessing myself, and would often nod vaguely whenever I deemed the other person to be more qualified than me. At the same time, I pushed myself to be this start-up risk-taker who would take on any challenge no matter how doomed to fail it seemed. Where there was a high likelihood I would fail, I jumped in and accepted. And whenever I didn’t “succeed” to my own standards, I took it as evidence that I could never truly “make it.”
Now, I see that this was my (peculiar) way of protecting myself from making the biggest impact I could possibly make.
Because the truth was, that I had a secret dream too; of going out on my own. But instead of acting on it, I collected and wore my failures as a badge of honor as I dutifully climbed the corporate ladder.
Until one day, the earth beneath my feet gave way.
In the span of four months, I became a mother to a beautiful baby girl and also lost my beloved father suddenly to pancreatic cancer.
In the last few conversations I had with my Dad, we talked about life purpose and fulfillment. He was calm and said he was “ready” to let go. After he passed, I wondered: what am I not letting go of? Who do I need to become to live my own life with purpose?
This is when ultimately I realized I wasn’t bringing my whole self to the table. In doing so, I was limiting my own growth and sabotaging my own hopes and dreams.
The very first thing I did was put in my notice at work.
Ever since that day I have been on a voyage of discovery. I am deeply curious about human behavior and adult development; what motivates and potentially limits us from living a full and authentic life. I am a certified Co-Active Coach (CPCC), and an Immunity to Change trained facilitator. I help clients deepen their self-awareness, get clarity on what they want to create in their life and an action plan to get there.
I am passionate about helping women and teams thrive and succeed in their life and careers.
Does this resonate?
Then, let's do this - together!